Texts From My Ex: A Play in One Act
Alternate title: Conversations with the Functionally Retarded
Part of the “This Shit Actually Happens to Me” Collection
Ex: You’re pregnant?
Me: I am.
Ex: Is it mine?
Me: Gross. We haven’t had sex in like a year, genius.
Ex: I don’t know how pregnant you are!
Me: You think I could be pregnant for a year?
Ex: So it’s definitly (sic) not mine?
Me: NO. Are you retarded?
Ex: Guess I doged (sic) a bullet!
Me: You and me both, Rainman.
Ex: Rainman?
Fini.
