Dark Side of the Joon

thehomosexuals:

Okay but Never Gonna Give You Up (better known as Rickroll) is actually a really really horrible song for many reasons, which I will better explain under the cut. 

Brace yourselves, this is pretty long.

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boootygod:

lmfaooo

furything:

can you believe that there are legal nipples and illegal nipples

hlmp:

**LOST SERVICE DOG**

To my fellow Bay Area humans:

My name is Heather Pujals and I rescued an amazing dog named Ryan nearly 4 years ago who just went missing in Daly City, CA on Tuesday, July 16, 2014. She is a SERVICE DOG who, although I never expected this when I adopted her, has the gift of being able to detect the oncomings of my debilitating migraines. I have suffered with these all my life (they run in the family) and they have always caused me to miss a lot of school and work, and they are so excruciating that I become unable to drive, leave the house, or even eat, and I am sometimes forced to stay in bed for days. With The help of Ryan’s early detection of the chemical changes in my body before a migraine hits, I can take preventative medication that 9/10 times stops the migraine from surfacing. (Migraine alert dogs are not very common yet, but they are similar to seizure alert dogs.) I need her help, and it just so happens that her separation anxiety is bad enough that she really needs me too. We are like Siamese twins and never go anywhere without each other. Pease help spread the word—even if you don’t live in the Bay Area, maybe you have friends or connections who do. Every “share” counts and the clock is ticking. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to Ryan. The longer she is out there, the higher her chances of being hit by a car (or other terrible things) become.

APPEARANCE:
Mostly black with brown paws, long silky yet fluffy fur, medium size, 40 lbs, floppy ears, black spots on pink tongue, border collie mix.

TEMPERAMENT:
Extremely shy, afraid of strangers (will not approach), will run if chased (DO NOT CHASE IF YOU SEE HER, call (408) 316-1587 ASAP and perhaps follow calmly from a distance), very sweet and loving with those she knows well, is very smart and knows dozens of commands but likely will not respond in this situation.

DETAILS:
Last seen on Tuesday, July 16 at 12pm near St. Francis Blvd and Higate Dr., Daly City, CA 94015.
Ryan is a 4 year old spayed female who is current on her Rabies vaccination, is microchipped, and is licensed in the city of San Francisco. She was wearing a blue collar with a name tag that has my number, as well as her SF dog license.

Your “share” could make the difference to help reunite me and Ryan. I can’t stand to be away from her and I know she is suffering too. Thank you.

fictionista

magnezone:

please don’t ever try to get my attention by neglecting me because i will alienate myself from you at terminal velocity 

owlmylove:

when i find stretch marks on my thighs i make a point of smooching them because they’re just doing their best at keeping the all-powerful immortal Being within me from ripping my mortal shell asunder in a blaze of heavenly glory and eviscerating the cosmos in my divine wrath

montypla:

streeter:

I am a historian and this is how it happened.

Actually what happened was Revere was basically just an annoying GPS system for Connor Kenway

montypla:

streeter:

I am a historian and this is how it happened.

Actually what happened was Revere was basically just an annoying GPS system for Connor Kenway

georgetakei:

Simply Beautiful. Have you seen this yet?
iammyfather:

questionall:

A republican with a heart - I didn’t think they existed anymore.

The exception to prove the rule?

iammyfather:

questionall:

A republican with a heart - I didn’t think they existed anymore.

The exception to prove the rule?

The Obama administration is allowing millions of people to come in without the skills to compete in the marketplace.

Bill O’Reilly’s criticism of migrant children escaping the drug war by coming to the United States: No real-life job skills.

Unlike American children, of course. Our world-class educational system is renowned for endowing us with real-life job skills. By the time we’re 4 years old we’ve already mastered Excel and the Adobe suite, and by 7 or 8 we’re creating workflow processes within native content management systems. At 10, you’re developing cloud-based mobile software solutions. When I was 12 years old I spoke ten programming languages and was managing a team of more than 300 toddlers across our marketing, R&D, IT, and accounting departments. By 13, each and every American child has the skills to compete in the global job market.

Unlike those lazy migrant children, who only know how to take care of themselves on their own and seek better opportunities in another country.

(via thebicker)

Hi, yah, my little white citizen kids can’t take the community transit across the city and these kids fled violence on another continent. They’re going to do just fucking fine, you xenophobic twat.