Dark Side of the Joon
I’ve been married for five years. To the same woman. I’ve wanted to divorce her at times. She’s wanted to divorce me at times. But one great thing about marriage, when it’s entered by regular folks, in good faith, is that it’s hard to exit. It costs money. You have to talk to lawyers during business hours except whoops—you have a job that you need to earn money to buy food and pants—so when are you going to both take the time to do that? By the time you’d have gotten around to it, you’ve forgiven each other and maybe even reached a new appreciation for each other as you worked through whatever seemingly insurmountable problem made you hate each other for 20 minutes while you sat in your shitty car outside a CVS yelling at each other and crying.
Rob Delaney (via sethjones)

Pretty sure this is from my open letter to Kim Kardashian about suing her for divorcing that basketball player she married for 20 minutes. Just reposting since my wife and I have now been married for eight years and have two kids. That’s nice.

(via robdelaney)
depressioncomix:

182

bspolitics:

This is how the right planned it all along. It’s one of their favorite tactics. Kind of like throwing a wrench into a machine and then freaking out that the machine isn’t working.

timelady-of-221b:

joeeatspeople:

yesidolikecoatsbigtime:

Types of people who romanticize small town life:

  1. People who didn’t grow up in small towns

#THE LOCALS AREN’T QUIRKY#THEY’RE RACIST

#THERE’S NOTHING TO DO
#EVERYONE’S ON DRUGS

cybernotter:

pizzapuffs:

No media about the fact that there’s a All Male,  African American High school on the southside of chicago who year after year has a 100% graduating senior class who ALL get accepted to 4 year universities/colleges.

they just want to talk about how whether a person’s death on the southside is gang related or not.

WHAT

This is ridiculously impressive.

I’m just looking up sources, and the statistics are really incredible.

policymic:

Iranian mother stops the execution of her son’s murderer, chooses forgiveness instead

Seven years ago, 18-year-old Abdollah Hosseinzadeh was fatally stabbed during a street brawl in Royan, a small town in the northern province of Mazandaran. His attacker, another young man known only as Balal, was sentenced to hanging by public execution. Hosseinzadeh’s parents were allowed to participate by knocking out the chair that would support him.

When the moment finally came this week, Balal, who wore a black hood over his face, and the crowd that had gathered to watch waited for the drop. Hosseinzadeh’s mother approached the gallows.

She didn’t kick. Instead, she slapped him.

Hosseinzadeh’s father then removed Balal’s noose.

Read moreFollow policymic

My assistant told me this story and I thought she was doing so in an “Isn’t that powerful?” way, so I agreed. That is powerful. She’s a bigger woman than I am, and I don’t mean that disparagingly. I value that in this woman. Giving life to someone who only gave death is not something I could do very easily.

I was wrong though. She was telling me in an “Isn’t that ridiculous?” way, which turned into a discussion on capital punishment that made my head hurt. An eye for an eye turns the whole world blind, I told her. I’m pretty sure she thinks I got that off of a Cracker Jack box. 

I told her of my friend who was killed by two 18 year olds and a 16 year old in cold blood when he was 20. His mother forgave them and didn’t want them killed because she loathed to think of what her life might be if it were dictated solely by the decisions she made at that tender age. I told her that I valued that sense of compassion. She told me that those boys were going to be “useless” when they got out of prison in their 50’s. I told her a life shouldn’t be predicated on its value to her, but solely on it’s right to continue. She stared at me like I was a child, then told me that would be great in an ideal world where we gave them resources to be able to live outside of those walls. I asked her if she planned to champion for those resources. She asked me who was going to pay for that? The implication being that not another cent should her taxes go up for something as silly as that when we could just kill them.

Killing people is cheaper than fixing them. That’s why we let the homeless die, and the poor get no healthcare, and the prisons overflow, and the mentally ill kill people including themselves. It’s cheaper that way. 

And that mentality? It’s fucking cheap too.

bspolitics:

As one of the commentators over on Think Progress said, this is like charging people for growing their own food instead of buying it at the grocery store.

The statement from Oklahoma Gas and Electric Co. about “keeping it fair” seems particularly absurd. How is it “fair” to charge someone for not using your product - because when it comes down to it, that is precisely what is happening.

Fucking hypocritical Republicans. When it works in their favor, they’re happy to scream “FREE MARKET” from the top of their lungs, but when it means someone isn’t lining their pockets properly suddenly free market doesn’t work without government force. Oklahoma Gas and Electric isn’t offering those people what they want or need at a reasonable price, so they’ve taken their money elsewhere. They used it to purchase something else, from someone else, that better fit their needs and budget. THAT is free market. By all GOP standards, we should be telling Oklahoma Gas and Electric that if they don’t like it they had better change something to stay relevant, or else they’ll die, in that capitalistic “only the strong survive” way we’re told to hold so dear. Instead they’re doing what the GOP has gotten sooooooo good at doing, which is moving the fucking goal post. 

Gross.

death-by-lulz:

Featured on a 1000Notes.com blog

Darryl’s jump is my jump.

death-by-lulz:

Featured on a 1000Notes.com blog

Darryl’s jump is my jump.

edwardspoonhands:

Please Please Please let me give him a YouTube show. I would be really good at that.

I love this idea so much!

edwardspoonhands:

Please Please Please let me give him a YouTube show. I would be really good at that.

I love this idea so much!