“I’ll always love you. Even if you’re enormous. Even if you gain so much weight that I can’t find your vagina. You go ahead and write that in stone in your heart. ‘I will love you. Even if you can’t find your vagina.’”—Away We Go (2009) - Burt Farlander (via film-quotes)
The entertainment industry are some sneaky bastards - yeah, I am looking at you RIAA. So, remember the whole SOPA thing where we came together as one Internet to stop the evils of Hollywood bribing lawmakers to track our online activities and shut down sites like Tumblr, Reddit and YouTube?
“I just flew in from Virginia, and boy is my vagina tired! From the involuntary ultrasound wanding — AM I RIGHT, LADIES? (Beat.) And by the way, why do they call it a ‘wand’? Where are we — Hogwarts? The only thing magically disappearing was my dignity and privacy, BOOM!!!
…What’s the difference between a fertilized egg; a corporation; and a woman? (Beat.) One of them isn’t considered a person in Oklahoma! BOOM!!!”—KRISTEN SCHAAL, on The Daily Show (via inothernews)
i may very well be the first person on earth to have ever said “I’m not going to argue about it, because i don’t know enough about the topic to have an educated debate, and most definitely neither do you.”
you see, lately i’ve been reading statistics about things so i can know more about them. until someone that disagrees with my point of view told me that my statistics are all lies set forth by sources bent on proving my point. which just kind of bit him in the ass, really, because now i feel the same way about his statistics too. so now i don’t believe anything anyone says to prove a point because by swaying all facts with opinions, we’ve made it so the word fact is generally a lie. which leaves us all with just beliefs and opinions, and you can’t prove those, you can only hold them inside that same small envelope you use to hold your faith, and love, and superstition.
it reduces experts, celebrities and politicians to my level, because they’re really just sailors exploring the same sea of understanding that i am. some stand on the bow with a megaphone insisting they’ve found the way to solid ground, but they haven’t. they’re lost, like me, but their ship is probably larger and more expensive than mine. that man on CNN is just another set of hands typing keywords into google. we’ll all be alright, but we’ll be alright a lot faster once people that don’t know anything stop fighting with other people that don’t know anything about things most people don’t understand.